A toof!

My baby is a big girl today.....

Ilse has been abnormally fussy today, and I just thought that she was tired since she was awake in the night, and she didn't want me to touch her button, so I thought that her tummy might be hurting too.

And then, lo and behold, I looked in her mouth like I have many times lately as I asked her, "do you have any toofies today? Doooooo you have any tooooooofies today?"

And she does! A tooth has come through and is super sharp and....

I lost it. My poor baby! She is growing up!

The boys didn't understand. Christopher remarked that she needed to get big so she can play in the yard. And so she can play in their room with them.

I tried to explain why I was upset. (I don't know why I bothered.)

"She won't cuddle with me anymore when she is big!"

Tim tried to comfort me reminding me that she might not ever be able to move out. Friend of Job.

Christopher also didn't care how sad I was. His perspective? "She's going to need a bigger bed."

Wahhhhhhh :(

Here she is after some Advil and gum numbing medicine.

Ilse smiling at her daddy

Ilse and her daddy

Here is a video I took last night of Ilse playing with her daddy. So many happy smiles!

Life lately

Please excuse any misspellings... My fingers don't love me today.

Looking back through my posts, I realize that I haven't posted in forever. So much has been going on over here that I haven't had time to do anything... even sleep is a rarity.

Ilse is still on the path to wellness. It might be a long path, especially considering they aren't sure what is wrong with her. They have ordered some specialized immune system tests, and maybe we will know what the results are in about a week. Hopefully it won't take longer than that. A week is already a long time. She did have a bacterial infection, and they had no idea where it was coming from. It could be her mic-KEY button, but we would have to pull it and culture it to know for sure. Unfortunately, we have to wait to do that because they put Ilse on a strong antibiotic, and again, unfortunately, it was obviously too strong for her since it set off a string of night screaming that the world has never seen before. At least my world! Finally we put two and two together and the doctor had us stop the antibiotic. Ilse slept pretty well last night, and so did I. Ahhh. However, I managed to wake up more tired that I had been the previous day when the night before I had barely gotten any sleep at all.

And it was good that yesterday I was more awake, because I didn't have time to even use the bathroom from the morning all the way until six or so. A lifetime of practice finally put to good use. Lol. Yesterday Ilse and I went to get her labs drawn for the aforementioned blood tests. The first lab, at which we had an appointment, told us after we had waited of course, that they couldn't do that test. We hightailed it down to medical city, and yes, I had to talk myself down just in order to park at that place.... and got her labs drawn there. She had two diarrheas while we were at the lab. That made three up to that point, and scattered through out the day where about four more. Needless to say, they are concerned about dehydration and c diff. for this baby. We won't know about the c diff. test for a week also. At the lab they determined that Ilse is too small to do all the tests they wanted, so we have to go back again on Friday to draw for the rest of the tests. One of the tests they did draw for measures how well the white blood cells fight infection. Because, I think it is clear by this point that Ilse has a bit of trouble with infections.

The concern for the immediate future is that her bacterial infection might reassert itself since we couldn't finish the antibiotic. If she gets a high fever or screams uncontrollably, we are to call the doctor ASAP, or, if it is night, we are to go to the emergency room.

Lord willing, Ilse got enough antibiotic to do the trick. Although, if it is the button causing this problem, it will likely reassert itself and we will be in a world of trouble, unless of course, we can have a different antibiotic, although at this point I am pretty wary of too much more medicine.

The rest of our busy day yesterday was spent at UT Southwestern medical center. Tim had his much awaited appointment with a wonderful hip doctor. He was wonderful, and not just because he looked exactly like Mark Ruffalo. He did tons of x-rays, and gave a much better description of the surgery, complete with hand gestures. Tim will plan on having the surgery late May, but first he needs an MRI to confirm what is going on and to see the exact state of his cartilage.

If everything looks good, or bad, whichever way you want to phrase it, he will have the surgery. It doesn't sound as bad as the first doctor made it sound, and regardless of how long the recovery is, having the surgery in state is an automatic bonus. The first doctor said we would have to go out of state, and that sounded atrocious, as you can imagine, since I am determined not to go anywhere without my kids.

The boys are doing really well. They learned about colloquialisms, paramedics, aerodynamics, and oh my goodness, earlier Chris said something so brilliant I wish I could remember what it was.

I finally got Ilse's nose suction machine figured out and in use. Hopefully it will help her. It is too bad that there is no way to decorate it like a squirrel or something. It isn't too cute.

Mom came over yesterday at the drop of a hat and stayed all day long to watch my boys. They mostly behaved. Now my laundry is all folded, my kitchen is clean, and my floors are vacuumed. Thanks, Mom!

I have lots more to write about. However, this post is so long that I had better give your eyes and my fingers a break.

Today, though, if you have a minute, pray for my friend Amber Bowers who is having her third baby today. This is her second daughter, and could also be her second child with SLOS. One baby with SLOS is hard enough depending on how severely the child is affected. Two would be significantly more difficult, and yet, the Lord really does give us the ability to accomplish all that he asks of us. And He has given the Bowers family so much joy. They are truly a wonderful example to me. Each child is a blessing, no matter the way God makes it.

As I have said before, I don't know what I would do with a 'normal' baby-- I have gotten so used to Ilse.

I have another post to write soon, but now, I am going to call in the precious boys who just went out to play, and we are all going to lay down for a nap. It is practically a given though that Ilse will wake up the second I lay myself down.

Better hurry!

Tim

Tim is so tired he fell asleep like this while we were talking.

Joey funny

We have taught the boys to repeat when we pray so that they learn how to pray full, varied prayers.

Sometimes the repeating doesn't work out quite right. They have been praying for the people involved in a military plane crash that happened quite awhile ago, and tonight Tim said, "Lord, comfort the relatives..."

And in all sincerity, Joey repeated, "Lord, comfort the elephants...."


I am glad Tim's laughter didn't wake up the baby!

Happenings

So much has gone on the last week or so.

I had a birthday... 30 years old now. Wow. I don't feel older, just more somber, and that likely has nothing to do with my advancing age. :)

Ilse is sick, and they don't know why. Her white blood cell count was high a week ago, and we had it tested again Saturday to see if it has gone down. They also did another test to look for infection or something. I believe it is called an ESR and hopefully we will have the results today.

Last week we also did a total cholesterol on her, and her cholesterol was 62. That isn't great, and so the doctor said to give her two eggs a day instead of one. One was gross enough, and two is nauseous (that means it makes you/me/Ilse nauseated...) but so far she is adjusting well. The added calories can't hurt her for sure. We will retest in a month to see if her level is higher. If it isn't, I might go back to one egg. I have also heard that increased cholesterol won't help, but who really knows anyway. It is just egg, and it can't hurt her, so I will give it.

Mom watched me do her egg the other day and said that she was amazed it didn't break the way I do it. It doesn't break, though, even though I roll it around on a paper towel to get all the egg white off. Gross, I know.

Tim went to the orthopedist, and sadly, he has to have hip surgery. This is a continuing saga... Does he have to go out of state? Can he have it here? It is pretty specialized.... Does he just need a hip replacement instead of this other surgery? We don't know. We have an appointment coming up with a doctor who knows spastic dyplesia and hopefully he will have a better solution than an out of state surgery with a three month don't-put-all-your-weight-on-your-hip recovery time. Neither of us are open to leaving the kids behind if we are out of state for two weeks. Hard, hard, hard either way.

Also, Tim is having his tonsils out this Saturday. We are happy about that, and hopefully he will be able to eat really well by Thanksgiving, and even if he can't, both of us are going to enjoy completely the week he will have off of school.

The boys got their glasses, and by George do they look cue. I got them the really bendy ones, and while that is handy dandy, it also means that I can't straighten them. They are just too bendable. We will be making many trips to Walmart I think.

Ilse is growing out of her clothes, so I am setting them aside for Olivia, who, undoubtably, will be a very cute close second to Ilse. There is something odd and pretty special about having double nieces and nephews. For all my readers who don't know (as if I have a widely read blog or something, lol) but my sister Ivy married my husband's brother Marcus. So our kids are double cousins. I am hoping Olivia looks like Ilse coloring wise so that all the pink I dress Ilse in will look just as good on Olivia.

All this time I have been thinking that there is seven hundred dollars on my zero interest credit card..... But there isn't, because Walgreens Infusion Services never refunded my three hundred bucks from way back in June, even though I requested it a couple of times. I was really glad that Tim thought of that when we were talking about our card the other day. He is so smart. I called again this morning, and they wil finally process the refund. It will take thirty days, though, and as she said that, I was thinking, good grief. You have known that you owe it to me since August! They have been getting interest off something I didn't owe them, just like the anesthesia place and the hospital did. I just got my money back from the anesthesia place that did my c section.... Last week! They had it for months! Wow.

Joey is such a good helper with Ilse. He plays with her and makes her smile. I never have to worry about her while he is watching her. He called me the other day when I was outside.... "Mommy! You need to come check Ilse! She barfed!" I am so happy that he loves her and takes care of her.

Chris is so close to reading! He can spell some simple words with a little assistance. (an aside... As I was typing "little" I messed up and the iPad auto corrected it to "opitz". That is a snapshot of my life. :)

Anyway, I got some learning games that the boys both do on the iPad. Chris is super good, but right now Joey just really watches the animation. He will get it, though, with time.

Dad came over on Saturday and replaced the lights in my garage. I cannot tell you how much I am loving the bright light out there! I keep looking out the mini blinds to see if I accidentally left the garage door open since it is so bright, which is stupid anyway because the sun never makes it that bright in there. I told Tim yesterday that I loved him even more than my new lights, and that that was saying something. I don't know if he was pleased or not. I kind of think not. Thanks, Dad!

I have been realizing some things about myself.... Grace, what is it about turning 30 that makes you reassess your life? I realize that I am struggling with crippling fear in some areas of my life. I realize that I am so used to having an Ilse kind of baby that if I ever have a different kind of baby I will not know what on earth to do and I will freak out. 'What?! You mean the baby doesn't need seventy burp rags? She might not eat every three hours? There won't be endless doctors appointments? She can sit up?!?!?" You get the picture. It kind of makes me hope for another baby just like Ilse. Wouldn't a psychotherapist have a fun time with that mind boggling realization. That is just fear. I am glad that God is in control of everything that goes on.... From if we have more kids, to when, to who they are. To even if they live. He is such a good God.

Doctors appointments for all of us

These couple weeks are the weeks of doctors appointments! Last week I took Chris to the doctor for his cough, then both boys went to the eye doctor yesterday. They both need glasses! I am glad I took them to get checked. Tim went to the dentist and found out he needs his tonsils out, so we will get that done as soon as we can. Today he goes to see the ENT, and believe me, you'd rather me type that shortened version of the doctor's specialty than the whole huge thing that I can't even pronounce. It is the ENT who will take his tonsils out.

Friday Ilse goes to her new pediatrician for her six month checkup... I can't believe my sweet baby is about to be six months old. She has grown and changed so much from the wimpering little lamb who never moved around. She now looks at me! And she lets me touch her head. Lol.

Saturday Tim and I go to the eye doctor, and I cannot wait to get my new glasses and contacts! I love going to the eye doctor like my friend Rebekah loves the dentist. There are few things better than new contacts!

Monday Tim goes to see the orthopedist. He is excited about that appointment almost as much as he is excited about getting his tonsils out.

I believe those are all the appointments we have coming up, other than Ilse's regularly scheduled appointment on November seventeenth.

I am so thankful for insurance!

My hammer

Yes, you read the post title correctly. This post is about my hammer. When I was a teenager my nickname (the only one I will tell you about) was Tool Girl. I was the one who would use the screw driver to help dad. To this day I love using tools, and it really irks me to have to search for a hammer. So, a couple years ago I got Tim to buy me a nice hammer. W got I at Lowe's, and I adore it. it is just a plain, normal hammer.... definitely not the pink girly kind.

So I put my hammer and my box of nails safely where I can always find them. I am those who hangs pictures around here, so my beautiful hammer and nails get lots of use.

Well today Tim needed a hammer. He borrowed mine.... without asking. And as I saw him walking out the back door with it, I heard this come out of my mouth:

"Tim, please don't get my hammer dirty. And PLEASE don't put it down on the concrete where it will get scratched."

He asked me if I knew that my hammer is, really, just a hammer. And it is whatever brand it is, made to get banged up!

I do know that. But it is my hammer, and I love my hammer, and I don't want it dirty or scratched.

Lol. Sometimes I can't believe how weird I am.

I sure hope he wipes it off nicely, since he did put it down in the mud, and puts it back nicely in the safe place I keep it. I am truly unbelievable.

Post Pregnancy Update

I have no other title to call this post other than the above, but what it's really about is my mind.

My mind is shot.  Tim delicately told me last night that I've been repeating myself for a while.  I'll tell him something and then tell him again later.  And while this might be true, I have to admit I doubt it a bit since he isn't all that great at remembering stuff all the time either.

I blame it on the mag.  That stuff has really messed up my memory.  I was asking Tim the other day who came to see me in my room at the hospital after the c-section.  I only remember Gloria Pittman, Holly, Jess, mom, dad, Christie....  I could only see a few feet in front of my face.  I'm not kidding.  I was so out of it!  When I asked Tim what happened, he just started to laugh.  Apparently I tried to talk and he had to fill in all the details, and then I just started, um, barfing.  Yes.  Nasty.

And since the mag, I can't remember anything nor can I focus on anything.  I bet my blog posts make no sense.  Maybe it's sleep deprivation.  Where I used to need to do two things at once or I'd be bored, now I can't help but do twenty things at once.  I'll walk through the house to get something and get distracted by three things along the way!  That's ADD, baby, but the problem is, there is nothing NOTHING I can do about it.  I refuse to take any drugs for it, or even go see a psychiatrist.... but I really am having a serious problem.

Thankfully my impluse control is beginning to come back.  There was a while there where I was seriously worried about myself.  I was wanting and almost doing things like setting things on fire in the shower just to see what it was like.  No, I'm not a nine year old boy, but I sure felt like it!

I haven't experienced any depression.  I haven't had time.  I might be able to make time for that after I find time to teach the boys to read.  Hey, I was proud of myself that I actually sat down today and read them a story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right now everyone in the house is sick but me.  Christie mentioned getting together on my facebook, and I tried to comment, but something didn't work and I lost focus before I could finish the comment, but the gist was, everyone is sick.  Except me.  Ilse is so sick, Tim is dead on his feet, the boys are tired and sick..... there is snot on everyone but me.  And I cannot stress enough the importance of handwashing, although, if they all had understood that before now, we would not be in this position.

Handwashing!  It saves your sanity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love my little family.  I love helping people and getting things done.  I love a clean kitchen and I love it when my husband doesn't come to me at 11 at night and tell me he doesn't have clean pants for tomorrow.  He did have them, they were just buried under everything that has ended up in Ilse's pack n play. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My favorite thing to do right now is walk into Ilse's lovely room and sit on her chair.  The floor is clean and everything is dusted and properly put away.

And then my least favorite thing to do is compare Ilse's room's cleanliness to the boys' room--  which I have not vacuumed in a scandalous amount of months.  Actually, I haven't since they moved in there when I was pregnant with Ilse.  Mom has, but I seriously don't think I have.  And their dressers are covered in dust.  But the boys are happy.  They have their toys and their family.  And they are too short to see the evidence on the dresser tops of their mother's shortcomings.

Eventually everything will come together.  Tim and I have decided not to get back into fostering until our lives are in order.  When I can get a nice amount of sleep during the proper hours at night, and when Tim is not so exhuasted at work, and when I can sit with the boys and teach them things at the table instead of doing it in the parking lot while waiting for Tim to get out of work..... then we'll foster/adopt.  And while my heart aches not to be doing it now, I don't think anyone would thank me for adding to our issues. 

Now I'm going to try to get back to our finances.... yes, this blog post was a distraction.  :)

Deja vu

Today is reminding me of the day I went to the hospital with preeclampsia..... And that's not good. So far the AC is not working, and then I was making my toast--- and I particularly didn't want warm bread, so I pushed the bread down a second time, except it wouldn't stay. "Is it the plug?" I think, because we have random plug breakage. Yes, it's thoroughly annoying to have to remember from day to day which plug I can plug the vacuum into, and then have it switch.

No... The bottom plug doesn't work either. Oh, dear. The dishwasher that I worked so hard to load has turned off. Great. It's probably a blown fuse or something..... And is it possible that this has something to do with the broken ac unit box dohickey thing outside my kitchen window? I don't know.

I might need to suggest to Tim that we move. Soon.

On a happier note, we all survived the hot night. Ilse woke up fussy, which is very abnormal for her, poor baby, so I know she was hot even though I did my best to keep her room cool.

And on an even happier note, I get to pick Tim up on time today.. That will be good, since he had to go into the spider infested (I am assuming it's spider infested) bathroom in the garage to fix the fuse thingy. And I miss him. :)

Oats and beans and barley grow

Well, in our case it's rice and barley....... And they are making Ilse grow. Something the doctor said, which I dismissed out of hand because Ilse is only four mos. old, gave me the idea, And sure enough, Ilse has gained five ounces since last Thursday. That is a ton for her! I've been adding some rice or barley cereal to her milk only a couple times a day. In addition to being added calories without much added volume (she can't handle enough added volume right now to make a difference), the thickened milk stays down better. Yay!

So now my sweet baby weighs ten pounds nine and half ounces. I know that isn't huge, or even average, but it is extra good for my baby Ilse Joy. This week I'm confident the GI won't be worried about her weight.

In addition to gaining weight, Ilse has really been balancing her head well when sitting upright. She doesn't flop it nearly as much as she used to. Her neck muscles are finally beginning to catch up. Also, Ilse is beginning to work on raising her head while on her tummy. I'm so proud of her!

Last night she slept a little better than the previous three nights, and hopefully tonight will end up well. She isn't asleep yet, but I can tell that her stomach is bothering her a bit, so she might just be having trouble getting comfortable. If at all possible, I'd like to get in bed before two thirty, which is when I got in bed last night. Four hours of sleep is way better than two, though, so if it is two thirty tonight, I'll be ok. I actually had some energy today with that four hours of sleep! Yay me! Lol.

Ilse's swing appears to be calming her down tonight. I hate it when she screams, because besides making me feel so sad for her, it wakes Joey up.

Today I got my kitchen halfway clean, (doesn't sound like much, but believe me, halfway is a HUGE accomplishment in this day and age) did some laundry but forgot to put it in the dryer, put away all the groceries, pumped four times so far, fed my babies, took Tim to work and brought him home, comforted a crying baby most of the day, had Ilse's therapy, and a few other things. It was a very nice day since I wasn't so completely zonked out asleep.

I had a moment earlier

where I just wanted this day to be over as quickly as possible.  Just chuck the kids in bed, forget eating, who cares, and go to bed.
I resisted.  Yay, good for me.

You see, Ilse's room is messy, and I keep hitting my feet when I walk in there.  But I just haven't had time to clean it yet.

And I need to vacuum Ilse's floor, because there are fire ants in there.  But I just haven't gotten in there to do it yet.

And we have baby spiders in ALL our corners.  But I haven't gotten the vacuum around the house yet because of all the junk in the way.

And the kitchen floor is sticky.  And I just haven't had time to clean it yet. 

And my room is a disaster.  And I just haven't had the energy to clean it yet.

And I still have grocery items out.  And I just haven't had the time to put them away yet. 

And I have stacks of paper on my desk that have been there for more than three months.  And I just haven't had the time to organize it all and put it away.  Yet.

There is more, but I'll spare you.

So even though the boys were supposed to be doing jobs (helping me) around the house, I sent them to play since I was inflicting my grumpiness on them.  And I cleaned up the baby barf and then just sat down with my baby and rocked her.  Then she barfed again, and I cleaned that up too.  I smiled into her face, and she smiled back at me.

Even though all these chores I'm not doing every day are important, they just aren't important enough for me to give up these other things:

Pumping five-six times a day to have enough milk for my baby.  People who nurse usually nurse more than five times, so I feel like I'm doing pretty well.

Taking care of meals for my boys.

Keeping Ilse's stoma clean and healthy.  Right now it doesn't look so good, I don't think, so I'm taking extra good care.

Trying to get as much food into my baby as possible, but giving it in such a way that it actually stays in.

Making doctors appointments.

Getting some sleep.

Spending time with my husband.  After all, he goes to work on Monday---- goodbye summer happiness.

Dealing with the evermounting bills.  When will that tax refund get here?!?  Or at least, Tim's first payday as a paraprofessional.  Not the job we'd hoped for this year, but way better than subbing.  We're very thankful.

Teaching the boys about having good attitudes and being thankful. 

All my housework will get done, but it will just take a bit longer than it used to.  And I'm enjoying doing it myself, because I know I can handle my life.  I'm totally capable of handling it at this juncture, and I want to.  It's just going to be slower.  A lot slower.  But Tim's happiness, the boys' joyful playing, and Ilse's smiles make all the toe-banging worth it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ilse is sleeping so peacefully right now.  Whenever I lay her down we play her little lamb game.  The little lamb (from Jessica) walks up to her face and says, "Little Lamb!"  And kisses her twice.  We do it twice.  She loves it.  We do the same thing with her little kitty (thanks, Jess!) when she lays down to play in her Play Place.

Ilse had her GI appt today.  She is now 24 inches long, but only 9 pounds 9.5 oz.  That's a major growth spurt.... 1 3/4 inches in four weeks.  The doctor is not worried about her weight right now since she has some fat stores, but he does want me to give her some more food if she can keep it down.  He'd like to see her establish a weight to length curve.  He says she's just 'long and lean'.  I wonder what side of the family she gets that from!  :)

I've been pumping five times a day as opposed to the three I'd previously made time for.  It's a huge time commitment (and money commitment) but it is so worth it to me and Ilse.  If she truly does have SLOS, then the cholesterol I'm giving her via breastmilk is vital to her development, especially since I'm having major trouble remembering to give her egg.  That's just not something I was preprogrammed to do as a mother.  I've finally gotten my milk supply up enough to be able to support at least two more 90ml feedings a day.  Hopefully I'll be able to increase my supply even more as Ilse grows.  And if for some reason the test we should have gotten back yesterday comes back that she doesn't have SLOS (not likely) then I'll be super glad I kept pumping since it will be more likely then that she can eventually nurse.

Ilse's head control is getting better and better.  I sit her on my lap and she can hold her head up but it's pretty wobbly.  We'll keep practicing.  She still won't pick it up when she's doing tummy time unless she's supremely mad.  I can tell her vision is getting better and she is getting more social.  I saw a flicker of disappointment in her eyes when I stopped playing with her the other day, so, like the good mother I am, I continued playing.  :)

Tim and I have been so busy lately that we have accidently bought The King's Speech from Red Box, and Gone With The Wind from Netflix.  Oh well.

My boys are in bed semi-on-time tonight, and they had a nice dinner, although right now I can't remember what it was.  Oh yes, waffles.  Boys love waffles.  And hopefully I'll get into the kitchen semi soon and make dinner for Tim and me.  Maybe I'll even get some of those groceries put away.

Get me out of the house, nooooowwww!!!

Tim and I both get into this state where we have to get out of the house... now!  It's like, dramatic, people.  I don't know if it's because the house is dark, because we've been in one room too long or what, but we've got to get out.  That's where we are this minute.  We're heading to pick up my camera charger from Eunice's house... she's had it since the shower!  The dearth of pictures on this blog is about to come to an end, pretty promptly when we get home.

Also, we're doing pretty well with Ilse's food today.  I didn't manage to wake up by 7am to start her meals, so she got the first one at 8:45am, and the last will be at 11:45pm.  That's much better than going to bed at three or four, so hopefully Ilse will cooperate and go to sleep!

Have a great night!

My Smiling, Growing Up Baby

Ilse has started smiling. They're infrequent, but earlier today she smiled at me five times in a row when I was making kissing noises at her. Her smiles are a bit crooked.... she kinda squints one eye and smiles mostly with one side of her mouth. It is super cute. I am searching the house for the camera charging cord so I can video her. Yes, my house is that, well, it's that something and it makes me lose things.

Ilse is doing some other cute things, too. She has started to pull blankets and things close to her face. It's like she's cuddling with them as she sleeps. She has also started to pull her legs up under her butt, hiking her booty in the air.

She is still pretty congested. If it doesn't go away semi soon, I'll consider eliminating dairy from my diet, although the doctor told me that for that to be a problem for her, I'd have to be drinking multiple glasses of milk a day. I'm not (well, sometimes I am, if we have Oreos in the house. Or 'Nilla Wafers.), but I wasn't when this cold/allergies started, so that's not likely the problem. I really think it is allergies to something, because it is attached to a million and five sneezes. Ilse is the sneezing Queen. Five or more in a row is common!!

The therapist today was incredibly impressed with Ilse's swallowing. We were syringing milk into her mouth, and she swallowed it all. She even closes her mouth around the syringe like she is supposed to. As soon as it is possible, I'll pursue the lactation consultant option to see if we can get going on this. And I'm still planning on having Ilse see an ENT to see if there is anything wrong with her palette. It's possible that she could be fitted with a prosthesis that would cover her high palette and give her something to suck against. We'll see. The therapist mentioned that option and I read about it in a book (or somewhere-- I don't remember since I'm sure it was the middle of the night) and maybe, just maybe it is an option to help our baby out a bit.

I'm expecting to go to the doctor in September and have them tell me that Ilse's head is no longer small. I have a theory about her head size. Supposedly (and it really is supposedly) she grew extra big bodywise because of extra sugar. If that is the case, it only affects her body, and thus her head would seem small. We'll see.

Also, we are supposed to be getting results from the SLO testing the week of August 8. I am trying not to think about it too much because there is no speeding it up and there is no predicting what the results will be. There are so many good opinions on both sides of the issue. Tim and I lean one way some days and the other way other days. Either way it goes, Ilse is doing really well. She's completely on target developmentally with the exception of her neck muscles, and she is dramatically improving there. We love her and are so thankful to be the parents to a wonderful Ilse Joy.

*Note about the boys: They are growing!!! I'm going to have to measure Christopher specifically because no matter how much I feed him he still looks too skinny to me, and he seems tired lately. He is shooting up, so he must be in a growth spurt, or something. Both of them need new tennis shoes, because even Joey's from last year are too small for Christopher this year. Wow. I love taking them shopping, but for my sanity we're going to have to wait until it is a little cooler. I'm thankful for Old Navy flip flops!

Also, both boys are speaking better and better. Bam-Bam shocked me the other day with how quickly he said something, and Joey is using bigger and bigger words. What blessings both my boys are.

The Lord has been so good to bless us with three kids. Come November we've got to make a decision about fostering. Our inactive status expires then, and I believe that if we don't go active then, we lose our license and would have to redo EVERYTHING to ever adopt or foster again. Right now I don't know that I could handle a foster child (the paperwork and excessive rules), but maybe by November I'll feel differently. Honestly, we're considering, if we start fostering again, requesting a child/baby on a feeding tube. Homes for medically needy kids are hard to find, and we definitely have the experience. There are many things to consider, because it would even mean rearranging the boys room to fit another bed in there, and we could really only take a boy. Furthermore, our agency came down with this ridiculous ruling that you must accept any and all children you get calls about, because if it wasn't the Lord's will for you to foster that child, you wouldn't get a call about him/her. That's just dumb, in our opinion, but, that's what they think. Lots, lots, lots to think and pray about.

This post has to be done, because I need to go pick up my wonderful husband who took our boys to the park. Ahhh, a couple hours of quiet with my Ilse has been nice, and I got a lot done. :)

Your Mom's..... and Life

Those close to me know I really, really struggle with the "your mom" jokes.  I struggle because.... I can't quit making them, and frankly, I don't really want to.  So maybe I'm not struggling at all.  :)
And today it was manifested to me that the boys are listening intently to my jokes.  It all started with Bam-Bam telling Ilse her mom was an elephant.  I died laughing, because, of course, he doesn't get the connotation.  He was merely seeing an animal on her Play Place and incorporating it into a joke.

Then, the mom jokes morphed into some seriously funny material as Joey and Bam-Bam began to joke together.

Your mom's a spoon!  Your mom's a fridge!  Your mom's a sticker!  Your mom's a bird!

And then, since they were talking to me, and my mom is Mamaw, the comments became:

Mamaw's a fridge!  Mamaw's a bird!  Mamaw's a fork!

I didn't enlighten them as to the real way to make your mom jokes.  They are a bit young to understand.  I just enjoyed listening.

My crowning glory of your mom jokes came when, at the last church potluck, one of my sisters remarked that some dessert was mousse, and I, in my great capacity for linking grammar and your mom jokes, remarked, "Your mom's mousse!"  Because, she had MADE the mousse.  I'm quite sure all of you see how I took the word "mom's" and transformed it from a contraction meaning "mom is" to a possessive.  I'm sneaky that way.  :) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right now we're working around the house to get ready for tomorrow.  Well, I'm working.  The boys are being wild and Tim is snoring on the living room floor with a very comfy baby on his chest.  She has grown so much since these days:

I love my family.

Family life

is not very easy these days.  Joey and Bam-Bam are regressing some, but I suppose that is a bit to be expected.  It is still disappointing, though.  Joey has decided that he can't tell the truth about anything.  Everything is, "I forgot" when he did it on purpose or "I think it did it itself" when that is of course, impossible, or "Somebody else moved me" when no one else is in the room.  Hopefully he will realize (again) soon that lying is NEVER ok or worth it.
And Bam-Bam has decided that he can't pee in the potty anymore.  Shame on him, but he peed on Auntie Ivy's floor!  I'm surprised she ever wants us to come over again.  Wait, maybe she doesn't.  :)

Ilse is growing much better than people expected.  She does some of the things on the 0-3 month checklist, and just in the last couple of days she has started batting at the toys dangling in front of her.  She is also more and more awake, although, mostly, it's in the late evening.  She is awake right now and has been for an hour or more.  I haven't been able to do tummy time with her, but starting tomorrow she will since we're getting her mic-key changed out tomorrow.  She definitely needs more head control, but I believe it will come.  We have to remember to guage her on her adjusted age.  Even though she was 8 weeks old yesterday, she's not to be evalulated as a nearly two month old baby.

We're still working on getting her eating schedule worked out.  I think she got a little dehydrated, and apparently the doctor agreed because after I mentioned it to the nurse the doctor called back pretty darn fast to help me increase her mls and adjust her eating schedule.  Sadly, the plan she came up with is absolutely impossible to implement, so I came up with a different plan that is not quite so impossible, although still pretty impossible.  So far she is doing really well on it, although I am not so happy with my performance.  After she finished a meal around 1am last night, I set my alarm for just before four to get her some more milk.  I got the bag ready and put it in the fridge, set the pump, and everything.  All I had to do was get up and plug her in, lol.  And, I didn't even hear the alarm.  Tim didn't hear it either, and apparently Ilse didn't get the memo that she should be screaming with hunger either because she slept perfectly happily until around 8:30am when she was hungry again.  I guess I'm not starving her if she doesn't tell me she's hungry, but I feel like I'm starving her because I'm not able to give her the requisite number of mls during the day.  At this juncture the pediatrician says she's to get 584 a day, and yesterday she only got 450, some of which she barfed up.  Today she's doing well.  We have two more 90 ml feedings to do today and then the long 134 ml session tonight.  We'll see how it goes.  Ilse is growing and peeing, and that is what matters.

I'm truly enjoying being Ilse's mommy.  I've written 10,000 posts about the boys, and now it's Ilse's turn to get posts written about her.  I'm sure these posts will even out, but right now Ilse is my focus since she is so needy.  Right now it is taking both Tim and me to handle the three kids.  I'm sure that by the end of August when Tim goes back to school I'll be able to do it all myself, but right now, we're still getting used to taking care of Ilse's eating.  Ironically, all the normal baby stuff is a piece of cake.  Lol.

I don't particularly like the way the above paragraph sounds regarding all three of our babies, but I don't know how else to explain the fact that the boys are so much more self-sufficient than Ilse that it really is ok for me to be paying more attention to her.

The boys are doing really well; they are happy (unless they are lying or peeing) and just enjoying being boys.  Oh... apparently these toy computers are the bomb.  Bam-Bam is getting a good handle on his letters.  The other day he told me that Y starts with yarn and yak.  :)  Backwards, but he's getting it.  Joey is doing a bit better on his colors, and both of them are pros at life skills.  I'm so proud of them.

Am I crazy

or is Ilse barfing just a bit less than previously since going on the Prevacid?  I guess time will tell.  Please pray it's so.  (That she's barfing less, not that I'm crazy.  I wouldn't thank you for that.  :)

My mom came today to help me clean up my house.  I know, I'm sure I shouldn't need help, but I certainly did and I can't thank her enough.  My floors are now clean, and my stuff is dusted.  I feel much better, and Ilse's room looks all bright and clean.

Ilse screamed some today, but she stopped when I put her on my lap and hushed her and patted her.  It's amazing how my voice can quiet her. 

We are still working on tweaking her food.  I'm trying to keep to the schedule the hospital doctors set up but sometimes it's impossible.  Two nights ago I apparently talked in my sleep and told Tim just to turn off her pump when the first half of her milk had finished, and today her food times were all messed up.  Nevertheless, she's gaining weight.  She's now 8 lbs. 14 1/2 ounces, according to our scale.  The last time I weighed her she was 8 lbs. 11 1/2 oz.  I'm pleased she's growing, but I'm sad she has grown out of one of my favorite outfits.  Her little lady bug onesie is no more.  She's not too fat for it; she's too long.  Much, much too long.  It looks like a long shirt, and since Ilse is a lady, she ALWAYS covers her diaper.  Long shirts with no bottoms simply won't do.

Tonight she fell asleep on my chest since she just bawled every time I put her down.  I know I could be creating a monster, but I'm very willing to deal with that when the time comes.  Right now I just want to enjoy my baby and have her enjoy me.  We've already missed enough time together.

About Joey and Bam-Bam...  they have discovered getting dirty in the yard.  I don't mind, and they just love it.  Bam-Bam comes in covered in dirt and so so sweaty!  He definitely takes after his father.  Nobody sweats more than Mr. Timothy Minich.  All he has to do is sit there and breathe and he needs a shower.  Bam-Bam is exactly the same. 

We have finally given the boys permission to get out of bed in the morning and play in their room until we wake up.  They wanted this for the longest time..... but NOW, they aren't taking the privilege.  Apparently THEY have discovered sleeping in.  Joey tells me, "But we were still sleeeeeeeping."  Ok then.

And we are slowly but surely getting things together around here.  We've figured out what we need to take where and we've found some shortcuts, mostly thanks to Kimberly. 

AND the other night we actually went through the dirty, disgusting, moldy laundry from the garage (remember the flood?) and threw it away.  Except Tim had forgotten to put out the trash the day before, so he said, "Well, let's just put these bags of clothes in the dog kennel."  And that night it rained.  I do NOT want to know what those clothes smell like now.  I loved Stella, but once I was pregnant I almost NEVER bathed her.  She stank, and now those clothes......  eww.

Everybody take care!  :)

More of Life

Last night I went to the consignment sale with my mom, and I had a very hard time not picking out only dresses.  I don't know why, but I can't imagine little Ilse in anything BUT dresses.  As mom pointed out, she needs pants to crawl around in, so I forced myself to buy some.  Hopefully we got everything in the right size. I'm washing it all now.  I bought about two and a half loads of clothes, and I can't wait to fold it all and put it away.  I know, it's shameful that I want to put away her laundry and no one else's, but that will just be our secret, ok? 

The boys made me so proud today.  I completely and totally exhausted myself at the consignment sale.  By the time I got home, I was fending off the exhaustion barfs.  I successfully fended them off all night long and into the morning time.  Then, I gave the boys an opportunity to make me proud by letting them play quietly in their room while Mommy took a nap.  I won't tell you how long I napped, but suffice it to say, by the time I dragged myself out of bed I felt some better and decided to reward the boys with a special lunch (they chose Taco Bell pizza) and a trip to the park.  We used, for the first time ever, one of our wedding shower presents-- a picnic blanket thing.  It was quite the hit.  Ivy had introduced the boys to picnics, so by the time I took them today, they had a pretty  good handle on what we were going to do.  Telling of our lifestyle, though, they did want to clarify if we were going to eat in the car before we got out at the park.  :)

I sat nicely on that picnic blanket while the boys ran wild.  There was some other child there at the park (I'm sorry if you are his mother and happen to read my blog) that I was hoping hoping hoping (!) did not rub off on Joey.  I do not want him to go around shouting "To infinity and beyond!!!!"  every time he slides down a slide on his tummy.  We won't be showing those movies to the boys anytime soon.... we try to steer clear of movies in general.

I started reading a book my MIL gave me called The Fussy Baby book.  I have to say, I hope Ilse is not as dramatic as the child in the book.  I kinda don't think she will be since she doesn't seem to have too much of a personality as of yet.  Perhaps she'll be like me and not come into her true personality until she's married.  You just never know.

When we got home from picking Tim up, I fixed Joey's bike (he had tried to play crashes in it, something we don't allow) and then I let them ride for a couple hours in the driveway.  I figured they were good and tired out after the park and bike riding, and I gave them their supper, showered them, and put them to bed.  I intended to have them in bed 7:15 to 7:30ish, but I'm so competent  :)  LOL, that I prayed with them, came out of the room, and saw that it was only 6:45.  Whoops!  But I bet they'll go to sleep right away.  Who wouldn't after a nice shower washing off all the disgusting Parmesan cheese, park germs, and bike germs of the day?

After I finish with Ilse's laundry, unless I get the bug to vacuum the living room (Oh my, I hope not!), I'll be joining them in sweet, sweet slumber, hopefully to be continued a bit into Saturday morning.... if Tim will be so kind.  We'll see if I can entice him to take pity on this aching, tired old body.  :)

I've started taking tylenol when I lay down at night just so that I can get comfortable.  I was telling Ivy that sitting on the floor last night to take those hated safety pins out of all my purchases was a big mistake... not because of my giant tummy, but because my butt muscles feel like I've run 20 marathons.  They do NOT want to move.

Tim and I are looking forward to my Dad's Men of Note concert to which we are going tomorrow afternoon.  This is the first time in a long time Tim and I get to go together, and it's all because dear old Auntie Ellen and Uncle Stevie(!) volunteered to watch the boys.  I've even managed to talk them into keeping them a bit longer so Tim and I can go to dinner.  I think the salmon from the Cheesecake Factory is on my menu, not to mention that I told the babysitters I'd bring them some cheesecake.  :)

On other topic:

Here's to hoping we make it through the last four weeks and three days of Ilse's womb growth without another cold, or other worse things that might, or might not, be going around. 

And yesterday I finally, for the first time, got the remark that pregnant women supposedly hate, even though it didn't bother me at all.  "Are you sure there's just one baby in there?"  Yes, I'm sure.  And I was told several times lately by strangers that I just look ready to pop.  Isn't that funny.  I don't think I look THAT finished with being pregnant.  Still looks like a bit of an overinflated basketball to me. 

Life

Tim has been home the last three days due to the TAKS testing schedule.  I cannot express how very much I've enjoyed having him here.  He loves helping me get things done, and even when I am exhausted he still loves doing the things we had planned on doing, even though he's doing them alone...  ok, with me propping an eye open to give general directions occasionally.

Today, though, the fun had to end.  He's back at work today, even though he only had to go in at 11am instead of 7:15.  He said he'd hardly call that 'back to the grind', but I sure do considering I really had enjoyed the last few days.  I told him this morning, on the way to work, that I felt like it was the end of our honeymoon--- as if I slept constantly when we were in San Antonio, as if we had two little boys then and a baby on the way, and as if we had a house that desperately needed vacuuming.  But nevertheless, I felt like this morning was the end of an era.

Can you say, Pregnancy hormones!!!

So after I dropped him off, the boys and I got the oil changed (woefully late) and then we went to get much needed haircuts.  Yes, the boys are bald once again.  Gone are the months of teaching them how to use their fingers to rinse out hair in the shower.  Now the sprayer can do it all by itself.  That was a hard concept for them to understand. 

I've been overdosing the boys on salad since we had so much left over from Easter lunch at Ivy's.  Joey likes it, but Bam-Bam has a real hard time eating it unless there is dressing on it.  He is a very strong willed child, and after he did better with his attitude after the first few anger sessions, I added dressing and croutons to it today, and he is not complaining at all.  He is making me chuckle inside right now talking about 'salad is goooooood!'  Yeah right, Bam-Bam.  You're not fooling me.  You want the dum-dum the lady at the hair cut place gave you.  Well, whatever gets the job done, I guess.  :)

The lawn guys came this morning before I was even dressed, so thankfully Tim was here to get the dogs in and the gate unlocked.  I certainly wasn't going to the door in robe.  Some things are just too embarrassing, and I don't know any pregnant lady who looks decent after a night of tossing and turning, trying to find just that one comfortable position that will delude her into thinking she can catch another hour before peeing, or maybe her sciatic nerve won't bother her if she lays just this way.... 

I'm glad the lawn guys came before naptime.  Now when I lay the boys down (and me, yay!) here in a few, we can sleep uninterrupted for at least a couple hours.  Then we will go get Tim and our nice evening can begin. 

That's our day today.  Oh, of course, my nice evening will have an outing with mother, since we are going to a consignment sale.  I'm on the hunt for some baby clothes, and Joey is in desperate need of church pants.  I'm not deluding myself into thinking I'll actually find some secondhand, but I'll try. 

I'll leave you with these gems:

"When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect Hungry."

"Streakers re‑pant!  Your end is in sight."

"It takes money to make money, because you have to copy the design exactly."

"Children are natural mimics ‑ they act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners."

I wash everything on the gentle cycle.  It=s much more humane.

Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.  A. A. Latimer


Those always make me laugh, but my favorite, by far, is:

The new composer's dictionary:

'Adagio Frommagio'‑‑ to play in a slow and cheesy manner

'Angus Dei'‑‑ to play with a divine, beefy tone

'A Patella'‑‑ unaccompanied knee‑slapping

'Frugalhorn'‑‑ a sensible, inexpensive brass instrument

'Dill Piccolino'‑‑ a wind instrument that plays only sour notes

and my ultimate favorite:

'Approximento'‑‑ a musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity of the correct pitch