A toof!

My baby is a big girl today.....

Ilse has been abnormally fussy today, and I just thought that she was tired since she was awake in the night, and she didn't want me to touch her button, so I thought that her tummy might be hurting too.

And then, lo and behold, I looked in her mouth like I have many times lately as I asked her, "do you have any toofies today? Doooooo you have any tooooooofies today?"

And she does! A tooth has come through and is super sharp and....

I lost it. My poor baby! She is growing up!

The boys didn't understand. Christopher remarked that she needed to get big so she can play in the yard. And so she can play in their room with them.

I tried to explain why I was upset. (I don't know why I bothered.)

"She won't cuddle with me anymore when she is big!"

Tim tried to comfort me reminding me that she might not ever be able to move out. Friend of Job.

Christopher also didn't care how sad I was. His perspective? "She's going to need a bigger bed."

Wahhhhhhh :(

Here she is after some Advil and gum numbing medicine.

Healthy Living, Clean Living, Regular Living

Tim and I decided earlier this year to live in a more frugal manner, and for the most part we have done really well. I no longer plan to get a Starbucks drink the fight before I am going to drive by that well beloved place, and now, if I am going to get a drink, sometimes I forget and pass the joint. That always give me a bit of a happy feeling, believe it or not.

I have recognized the same old problem with myself, and I would bet that it is a human wide problem. The more tired or stressed I am, the more I waver on my commitments not to eat out and not to grab a coffee. The number of nights I get up in the night to feed my baby is directly proportionate to the likelihood that I will go to Starbucks on my way home from taking Tim to work.

That is a terrible failing.

Because of this failing, the last couple weeks have not been a boasting point for me. Not that I should last about it anyway, and I am not, but for sure these last couple of weeks I absolutely cannot boast. No reason for boasting here.

What I have been doing well at these last few weeks is my housecleaning. I have rearranged my room and that always involves a good old fashioned clean up and and clean out. We aren't done with it because we have just both gotten so incredibly tired. I have wondered if I have Parvo or something since I am so achy, or maybe I am just spending too much time on the floor with Ilse. Whatever the cause, we have been too tired to finish the room, but it certainly does look nicer.

I also cleaned some blinds, mopped some (very) dirty floors, and have been keeping up with my laundry. I am very happy with how all of that is going.

I have also been spending a lot of time teaching the boys some things we have been quite lax on, like how to respond to a question about something they did. The answers tend to involve other people, like blaming parents or each other, and we are working on having them begin their explanations with the personal pronoun 'I' and not use anyone else's name in the explanation. Adam and Eve would have benefited from that lesson, so I want the boys to have it. Their wives will appreciate their ability to take responsibility, too, I am sure.

We are also working with one son on the difference between trying to be bad and not trying to be good. (I know the words bad and good in relation to children aren't very popular, but there's no getting around it, sin is bad and no sin is good.) This one son doesn't try to be good. He thinks he lives in do-whatever-he-wants world, and he doesn't care if it is good or bad. If he wants to do it, he will. I had a long talk with him today on how important it is to be an active obey-er instead of a passive naughty boy. He needs to TRY to behave. I think this road with him is going to be very long.

Update:

Last night I broke down and took some ibuprofen for my aches, and I feel so much better today! Hopefully this will be a day of getting some good things done.

All in all, we are happy around here, and we are waiting on the doctors appointment for Ilse's blood. Hopefully that will be soon.

Parenting kids with delays

With adopted children, the oddest insecurities or areas of ignorance can arise without any warning. Parenting through these insecurities and areas of ignorance without making the child feel belittled or misunderstood is crucial to building a relationship with your child.

Today I was on the phone talking to Jessica about a Spanish class for our kids, and when I got off the phone, Joey started asking questions. He didn't stop asking questions or making comments all afternoon even though I explained numerous times about the benefits of learning another language. I also talked about how an auntie or someone else was going to have to teach them Spanish because this Mommy does not know it, etc..

Then through dinner he made comments. When Tim came home from his dinner out, the comments continued. I talked about traveling... Trying to explain again why knowing a different language is the pinnacle of cool. I talked about how it would be fun to be able to say Hola to Mr. Ben at church or talk to the Spanish speaking individuals we know. Still Joey was concerned.

I finally told Tim that Joey must be misunderstanding something.

Tim asked Joey why he was concerned about it, and finally, light dawned..... on me. Joey was concerned that he was going to have to speak Spanish all the time. And that his mommy wouldn't be able to understand him ever again. I think he even thought that God wouldn't be able to understand him if he prayed in Spanish.

I got out my trusty iPad (ok, who am I kidding. It was already out, so I just changed my screen from Pandora to YouTube) and showed Joey some Spanish. We watched a Sesame Street song that explains exactly what I was trying to-- except the song does it with puppets.

Joey went away from his Spanish watching lesson with a joyful step. He completely understands now.

Joey's difficulty with the English language is what caused his confusion. He just didn't pick up on the fact that one could learn Spanish and still speak English. He didn't pick up on the fact that Kim and Abby can speak all/some Spanish and still speak English. And for poor Joey to think he was going to have to go back to being misunderstood... for a five year old child who has only spoken intelligibly for a bit over a year... that must have been terrifying.

I am so glad I took the time to figure out what he was thinking and feeling so we could adjust our verbal planning as needed. Had I brushed him off or told him he was being silly, or told him for heaven's sake! Just stop talking about it!!! he would have gone to bed upset and been ill at ease for who knows how long. He would have been convinced his entire world was about to change at a time in his life where he desperately needs it to remain the same.

I don't know when Joey's language will be good enough to where he doesn't have episodes like this. He didn't learn to talk really until he was already four... And if it actually does take double the age then he could be eight before he fully understands the ins and outs of English.

Any parent of a child who has been delayed emotionally or developmentally for whatever reason has to be aware of things like this. There are potentially so many holes in a delayed child's understanding about so many things. For example, just two or three months ago Joey learned what first, last, and middle meant. He had no idea.

If I were to relate to Joey as I do to one of my nieces or nephews, he would be completely lost. And just because Joey acts like the 'big, strong man' that he desperately wants to be does not mean that in all areas Joey is ready to be independent... it is way fewer areas than the typical five year old, more than likely. While Joey can shower on his own, brush his teeth on his own, and is my go-to helper around the house, he still doesn't understand the most basic English sometimes.

Now Joey is different from Christopher in that he is more confident in life, but Christopher is much more advanced in his English comprehension. Still, Chris doesn't know some things, like nightstand and vanity. Also, Chris doesn't follow clause upon clause very well, which Joey does usually. If I say something is in front of x, by y... Joey is more likely to be able to find it. Maybe, though, that isn't comprehension so much as just being able to find things. Today is the first time I saw Chris systematically search for something that I told him was in a pile of clothes. Joey has no trouble with that.

Yes, both kids have odd insecurities, inabilities, and weird pockets of ignorances, and if I am not continually on watch, I could truly damage my relationship with them.

In fact, I almost irreparably damaged it the other day, just because they didn't understand I was teasing. I will never admit what I said, but they were both in freak out mode over it. I have had to take multiple opportunities since that infamous Sunday to show them with grand facial gestures that I am teasing as I say something completely outrageous. They are getting much better at recognizing a joke just from the unlikelihood of the statement instead of relying on winks and big smiles.

I am so proud of both of them, but when I compare the boys, Joey has had so much more to overcome. He has really done well and I look forward to helping him develop into the young man God planned from eternity past for him to be.

Chris made me laugh yesterday

Christopher really made me laugh yesterday when he tried to tell his Daddy what we had just bought for his ol' man's 31st birthday.

"Daddy! We got you..... Tiddle, um, piddle, um.... --then softer and to himself-- ....piddle, tiddle?"

And then, finally, "Um, mommy?"

Kettlebells, Chris.

"Oh. Daddy! We got you Kettlebells!"

And of course then the boys had to go on to disgrace me completely by telling their daddy how I could barely lift those dang bells. They must have weighed 90 lbs. each!

"No," Tim says. "They are 35."

Yes, that's me. Total wimp.

More Christopher Logic

This post may be TMI for some people, but for others.... it may just remind them of a relative we have named Joseph Minich.... The Uncle Joseph, not the little Joey.

The other day Christopher pooped FIVE times in one day. And I bet most mothers will agree with me that that is just too much butt wiping to do in one day, especially considering you have two more kids whose butts you also wipe.

So I told him the next day as I was wiping him the first time he went, "Yesterday you pooped too many times, you've gone once today, so don't go anymore." I had told him this a million times.... just try to consolidate your poop! Get it all out at once, blah, blah, blah.

"Yes, Mommy." He responded.

The next day we were eating lunch and I offered him something else and he turned me down saying, "That might make me go poop." I told him that that was ok.

"But Mommy, you told me not to go anymore!"

"Chris! That is not what I meant! Of course you have to go poop..."

Oh my goodness. That child is so literal, just like Uncle Joe... whose similar story goes something like this: he was told by his mother not to use hot water at that time because it might burn him, and then a year or two later he came downstairs freezing after showering in the middle of winter... Because he truly thought she had told him never ever to use hot water again.

That story cracks me up every time I think about it. And apparently my Christopher thinks exactly the same way. We mommies better watch out!

Chris logic

We have told Chris to wash his hands well but quickly, so that he doesn't waste water. I guess we have pounded that idea quite a bit, because just now I heard him remark to Joey where they are eating their lunch on the back porch:

Do you know why I had to pray quickly? So I wouldn't waste the prayer.

That's little boy logic for you! Lol.

Snapshots of our week

These first few pics are of Ilse exploring her world... This time her tube and her quilt.

Here is Ilse after her ear surgery. "Ah. I'm happy now!" she says.

Here is Christopher asleep in the car after a particularly long day of doctor appointments for Ilse.

Here are all three of my blessings together.

The boys run back and forth with their trucks for such a long time.

Brotherly Repartee

We were talking this afternoon about our evening plans, and when the boys heard we are going to Auntie Kimberly's to celebrate her birthday, Joey started in:

"I love to go to Auntie Kimberly's!"

Either Chris or I responded with something along the lines of how it is so fun to play with all the cousins.

Joey disagreed, saying, "I really just want to play with Abby."

That irked me minorly, because that is just so rude. So I took him to task sweetly....

"Joey, that isn't very kind. You need to be happy to play with Luke, Will, and Charlie, if they are there." And then, since we have to consider what the cousins want, too, I added, "And besides, maybe Abby wants to play with Chris."

Joey understood, but what I did not expect was Christopher's rapier wit coming loudly from the backseat.

Chris says, in sassy hearty agreement, "Yeah!!"

Chris's perception of his world

We were at the doctor the other day with Ilse, and I asked Chris what we were going to do with our baby who is always sick. I have taught Chris to respond, when I ask him that question regarding himself, "Love me. Just love me."

His response regarding what to do with Ilse was quite different, though.

"Take her to the doctor every day."

Really, Chris?

"Yes, that is what we do when our baby is sick... We take her to the doctor every day."

That is Chris's perception of his world, and let me tell you, it isn't far off.

Chris and the fork

My son Christopher is sitting at the table, eating his Craisins with his fork.... voluntarilly. I am so proud of him! He is following in the grand and noble tradition of being sanitary.

Wow. What a change-- from this morning. What happened? Where is my kid?

An immunologist

The pediatrician, the geneticist, and the GI have all recommended that I take Ilse to an immunologist/allergist. She has had too many unexplained fevers, high white blood cell counts, and swollen lymph nodes. Her liver is also almost always swollen. I am sad that she doesn't feel well... It is seriously been months that I have been seeking an answer from her various doctors about this. Hr first pediatrician completely discounted her congestion with "babies don't develop allergies until two." I don't really care about what is supposed to happen with a baby's age and allergies, I just care that she is miserable. I bet she'd be able to eat way more if she didn't have so much mucous in her tummy. Poor little baby peach.

Our appointment is November 29. It cracks me up how I always refer to Ilse's appointments in the plural possessive. And I say, when we were in the NICU.... Well, WE really were.

And about Thanksgiving, I also excited to try to feed Ilse some good table food. I am going to let her taste real sweet potatoes since she likes the baby ones well enough. I am also going to let her taste jello and maybe even pie. What a wonderful mommy I am. Lol. :)

I have told the boys that thanksgiving is when we eat tons of pie, and after they finish their pie, if they want more, I will give it to them. Chris made me laugh this morning telling me that he was going to eat lots of pie.... I just love my babies.

Snippets of Life

About a month ago I finally figured out the ratio of water to formula. Now I don't have to look at the can anymore.

On my event calendar for the night is a clothes folding party. Unfortunately I think I'll be the only one attending.

Christopher is playing sock puppets in his bed when he knows he is supposed to be napping. Yes, that was naughty, but I am still glad he was misbehaving in such a normal little boy way. I will take that any day over the biting, kicking, and screaming that we used to have.

My living room is covered in pink. And barf.

My beautiful bright garage makes me want to create a woman cave out there. A book shelf, a rug, a lamp stand.... Don't need the lamp, but the stand would have a coaster for my coffee.... Ummm, sounds nice. It's too bad my laundry room is in the garage. How relaxing could my woman cave be if I were staring at my Mount Washmore?

If the load of laundry I'm washing has even one piece of Ilse's clothes in it, I use her detergent. I don't want to risk accidentally letting her wear something that has the other soap on it because it irritated her skin and gave me the 'Oh no! Eczema is starting already!' scare.

I had very little sleep last night since Ilse was sick in the afternoon, consequently took her nap really late, and then was up most of the night. She would fuss, I would check on her, and she would smile at me. The little stinker.

Even with as little sleep as I got, I still couldn't resist wasting my nap time to write this blog post.

Those are the snippets of my life from today!

Happenings

So much has gone on the last week or so.

I had a birthday... 30 years old now. Wow. I don't feel older, just more somber, and that likely has nothing to do with my advancing age. :)

Ilse is sick, and they don't know why. Her white blood cell count was high a week ago, and we had it tested again Saturday to see if it has gone down. They also did another test to look for infection or something. I believe it is called an ESR and hopefully we will have the results today.

Last week we also did a total cholesterol on her, and her cholesterol was 62. That isn't great, and so the doctor said to give her two eggs a day instead of one. One was gross enough, and two is nauseous (that means it makes you/me/Ilse nauseated...) but so far she is adjusting well. The added calories can't hurt her for sure. We will retest in a month to see if her level is higher. If it isn't, I might go back to one egg. I have also heard that increased cholesterol won't help, but who really knows anyway. It is just egg, and it can't hurt her, so I will give it.

Mom watched me do her egg the other day and said that she was amazed it didn't break the way I do it. It doesn't break, though, even though I roll it around on a paper towel to get all the egg white off. Gross, I know.

Tim went to the orthopedist, and sadly, he has to have hip surgery. This is a continuing saga... Does he have to go out of state? Can he have it here? It is pretty specialized.... Does he just need a hip replacement instead of this other surgery? We don't know. We have an appointment coming up with a doctor who knows spastic dyplesia and hopefully he will have a better solution than an out of state surgery with a three month don't-put-all-your-weight-on-your-hip recovery time. Neither of us are open to leaving the kids behind if we are out of state for two weeks. Hard, hard, hard either way.

Also, Tim is having his tonsils out this Saturday. We are happy about that, and hopefully he will be able to eat really well by Thanksgiving, and even if he can't, both of us are going to enjoy completely the week he will have off of school.

The boys got their glasses, and by George do they look cue. I got them the really bendy ones, and while that is handy dandy, it also means that I can't straighten them. They are just too bendable. We will be making many trips to Walmart I think.

Ilse is growing out of her clothes, so I am setting them aside for Olivia, who, undoubtably, will be a very cute close second to Ilse. There is something odd and pretty special about having double nieces and nephews. For all my readers who don't know (as if I have a widely read blog or something, lol) but my sister Ivy married my husband's brother Marcus. So our kids are double cousins. I am hoping Olivia looks like Ilse coloring wise so that all the pink I dress Ilse in will look just as good on Olivia.

All this time I have been thinking that there is seven hundred dollars on my zero interest credit card..... But there isn't, because Walgreens Infusion Services never refunded my three hundred bucks from way back in June, even though I requested it a couple of times. I was really glad that Tim thought of that when we were talking about our card the other day. He is so smart. I called again this morning, and they wil finally process the refund. It will take thirty days, though, and as she said that, I was thinking, good grief. You have known that you owe it to me since August! They have been getting interest off something I didn't owe them, just like the anesthesia place and the hospital did. I just got my money back from the anesthesia place that did my c section.... Last week! They had it for months! Wow.

Joey is such a good helper with Ilse. He plays with her and makes her smile. I never have to worry about her while he is watching her. He called me the other day when I was outside.... "Mommy! You need to come check Ilse! She barfed!" I am so happy that he loves her and takes care of her.

Chris is so close to reading! He can spell some simple words with a little assistance. (an aside... As I was typing "little" I messed up and the iPad auto corrected it to "opitz". That is a snapshot of my life. :)

Anyway, I got some learning games that the boys both do on the iPad. Chris is super good, but right now Joey just really watches the animation. He will get it, though, with time.

Dad came over on Saturday and replaced the lights in my garage. I cannot tell you how much I am loving the bright light out there! I keep looking out the mini blinds to see if I accidentally left the garage door open since it is so bright, which is stupid anyway because the sun never makes it that bright in there. I told Tim yesterday that I loved him even more than my new lights, and that that was saying something. I don't know if he was pleased or not. I kind of think not. Thanks, Dad!

I have been realizing some things about myself.... Grace, what is it about turning 30 that makes you reassess your life? I realize that I am struggling with crippling fear in some areas of my life. I realize that I am so used to having an Ilse kind of baby that if I ever have a different kind of baby I will not know what on earth to do and I will freak out. 'What?! You mean the baby doesn't need seventy burp rags? She might not eat every three hours? There won't be endless doctors appointments? She can sit up?!?!?" You get the picture. It kind of makes me hope for another baby just like Ilse. Wouldn't a psychotherapist have a fun time with that mind boggling realization. That is just fear. I am glad that God is in control of everything that goes on.... From if we have more kids, to when, to who they are. To even if they live. He is such a good God.

Christopher wins

The Most Encouraging Comment Of The Year Award.

Not!!!

As I was making our nachos tonight for dinner, I opened a can of refried beans. Then I heard Christopher comment nicely, "Wow! That looks like dog food!"

Christopher's musings

Christopher was musing at the table tonight after I explained to him that we make lemonade with water and powder:

"Like Ilse has powder for her butt..."

I was a bit flabbergasted, but I recovered well enough to respond, "But that powder isn't for eating."

"No," he continued, "This is good powder, but that is bad powder."

And then, lest he think that I put bad powder on Ilse's butt, I told him, "It is good powder for butts."

Whew! The conversations we have now at the dinner table!

This Dirty Boy!

I don't bathe the boys every day.  I know, that statement should be titled under "Confessions" simply because I'm of the Foster variety.  Yes, I don't bathe the boys every day.  In fact, this week I think I might have only bathed them..... um, never mind.

But on the second day of no baths, the boys get to get dirty.  They LOVE this.  They go into the yard and get as dirty as possible, or at least, Bam-Bam does.  Joey is a little more sophisticated; he only gets sweaty.  But Bam-Bam, wow!  He gets so dirty that when I shower him afterwards there is mud in my shower.  No joke.  He piles it in his hair, he cakes it down his shirt; it was even in his undies!  I so wanted to take a picture, but since it would have involved neckedness on this blog, I refrained.  I caught a nice little glimpse as he was walking to the shower.  I had, in the good old CLEAN way, had the boys strip naked in the back yard-- it's ok, nobody was out there. 

Bam-Bam had a collar of dirt on his upper back.  Yes, it looked just like a collar.  And it wasn't a dusting of dirt, either.  It was a pile, a clump, a mountain of dirt.  And then on his very very very lower back he had an upside down triangle of dirt.  Obviously his anatomy encouraged this triangle when he tumped dirt down the back of his shirt.

It was so funny to me, that he enjoys getting so incredibly dirty.  What is the draw, I wonder?  Why on earth would anybody want to put dirt and twigs in their hair?!?  But he does, and I rarely ever see him so carefree and happy as when he is out in the yard getting dirty.

Ilse Joy

Here are some pictures of Ilse Joy.  There are lots of things I want to say about her, but right now all I'm going to say is that she only semi slept through her 'sucking lesson' today, but she still managed to do two sucks and drink a ml of milk.  Of course, when the OT was gone, Ilse went to town sucking on my finger.  She needs to wake up at the right time!

Below these pictures I'm sharing something about Bam-Bam, because it is just so funny.

So about Bam-Bam.... the boys know that Mommy goes in her room to 'get milk for Ilse'.  So Bam-Bam is examining the pump, saying "There's no milk coming out now.... (and about the vacuum tubes---)  is this where the milk comes out?" 

I don't feel like enlightening him.  It's so funny to watch his little mind work.

Mr. Grateful Strikes Again

I'm more tired today than I've been in a long time, although I slept between 10 and 11 hours last night.

So when I see Bam-Bam doing the pee-pee dance because he has to go but Joey's on their potty, I invite him in to use my bathroom.

He finishes his business, and because I'm too tired to get up to help him wash at my sink (which is pretty selfish on my part), I tell him to go wash in his bathroom.

He comes back with:  "Ohhhhh!  THANK you!!!"  Like I just gave him a trip to Cancun and seven million dollars to buy all the toys he could ever want.

Tim and I just started laughing.  Here I was being a bit tiredly selfish, and here is Mr. Grateful, thanking me for it.

He's utterly precious.

How a 3 year old thinks

Mommy, will you come wipe me, please?

Bam-Bam, I'm not going to come wipe you until all your poopies are out.  Are all your poopies out?

Yes, they are.

Ok.  Wow, Bam-Bam, you really did go.

Yes, they are huge!

Are they?

Yes... like Sam's is huge!  Sam's, Walmart, and poopies are all HUGE!

Mr. Grateful

We've had many nicknames for the boys, most of them unknown to them.  For a while, Joey was Mr. Naughty, but then that became Bam-Bam's name. 

Now, Christopher is most definitely Mr. Grateful.  This particular trait makes me uber happy, but it still gives me a laugh.  I heard a story about Uncle Joe who used to apologize for everything and he wouldn't be happy until he received forgiveness..... that is Christopher, except it's gratefulness.

Thank you for staying with me, Mommy.

Thank you for going this way, Mommy.  (when I am just driving down the road, minding my own business)

Thank you for letting me have this basket, Mommy.

Thank you for Cubbies, Mommy.

Thank you for the warm one, Mommy. (When I turn on the hot water faucet for handwashing.)

Thank you for the napkin, Mommy.

Thank you for my fireman coat, Mommy.

Thank you for the sunshine, Mommy.  (When I raise his blinds.)

It doesn't end.  And shouldn't we all be like this-- thanking our Benefactor, God, for everything he gives us?  I hope Mr. Grateful always has that nickname.