Parenting kids with delays

With adopted children, the oddest insecurities or areas of ignorance can arise without any warning. Parenting through these insecurities and areas of ignorance without making the child feel belittled or misunderstood is crucial to building a relationship with your child.

Today I was on the phone talking to Jessica about a Spanish class for our kids, and when I got off the phone, Joey started asking questions. He didn't stop asking questions or making comments all afternoon even though I explained numerous times about the benefits of learning another language. I also talked about how an auntie or someone else was going to have to teach them Spanish because this Mommy does not know it, etc..

Then through dinner he made comments. When Tim came home from his dinner out, the comments continued. I talked about traveling... Trying to explain again why knowing a different language is the pinnacle of cool. I talked about how it would be fun to be able to say Hola to Mr. Ben at church or talk to the Spanish speaking individuals we know. Still Joey was concerned.

I finally told Tim that Joey must be misunderstanding something.

Tim asked Joey why he was concerned about it, and finally, light dawned..... on me. Joey was concerned that he was going to have to speak Spanish all the time. And that his mommy wouldn't be able to understand him ever again. I think he even thought that God wouldn't be able to understand him if he prayed in Spanish.

I got out my trusty iPad (ok, who am I kidding. It was already out, so I just changed my screen from Pandora to YouTube) and showed Joey some Spanish. We watched a Sesame Street song that explains exactly what I was trying to-- except the song does it with puppets.

Joey went away from his Spanish watching lesson with a joyful step. He completely understands now.

Joey's difficulty with the English language is what caused his confusion. He just didn't pick up on the fact that one could learn Spanish and still speak English. He didn't pick up on the fact that Kim and Abby can speak all/some Spanish and still speak English. And for poor Joey to think he was going to have to go back to being misunderstood... for a five year old child who has only spoken intelligibly for a bit over a year... that must have been terrifying.

I am so glad I took the time to figure out what he was thinking and feeling so we could adjust our verbal planning as needed. Had I brushed him off or told him he was being silly, or told him for heaven's sake! Just stop talking about it!!! he would have gone to bed upset and been ill at ease for who knows how long. He would have been convinced his entire world was about to change at a time in his life where he desperately needs it to remain the same.

I don't know when Joey's language will be good enough to where he doesn't have episodes like this. He didn't learn to talk really until he was already four... And if it actually does take double the age then he could be eight before he fully understands the ins and outs of English.

Any parent of a child who has been delayed emotionally or developmentally for whatever reason has to be aware of things like this. There are potentially so many holes in a delayed child's understanding about so many things. For example, just two or three months ago Joey learned what first, last, and middle meant. He had no idea.

If I were to relate to Joey as I do to one of my nieces or nephews, he would be completely lost. And just because Joey acts like the 'big, strong man' that he desperately wants to be does not mean that in all areas Joey is ready to be independent... it is way fewer areas than the typical five year old, more than likely. While Joey can shower on his own, brush his teeth on his own, and is my go-to helper around the house, he still doesn't understand the most basic English sometimes.

Now Joey is different from Christopher in that he is more confident in life, but Christopher is much more advanced in his English comprehension. Still, Chris doesn't know some things, like nightstand and vanity. Also, Chris doesn't follow clause upon clause very well, which Joey does usually. If I say something is in front of x, by y... Joey is more likely to be able to find it. Maybe, though, that isn't comprehension so much as just being able to find things. Today is the first time I saw Chris systematically search for something that I told him was in a pile of clothes. Joey has no trouble with that.

Yes, both kids have odd insecurities, inabilities, and weird pockets of ignorances, and if I am not continually on watch, I could truly damage my relationship with them.

In fact, I almost irreparably damaged it the other day, just because they didn't understand I was teasing. I will never admit what I said, but they were both in freak out mode over it. I have had to take multiple opportunities since that infamous Sunday to show them with grand facial gestures that I am teasing as I say something completely outrageous. They are getting much better at recognizing a joke just from the unlikelihood of the statement instead of relying on winks and big smiles.

I am so proud of both of them, but when I compare the boys, Joey has had so much more to overcome. He has really done well and I look forward to helping him develop into the young man God planned from eternity past for him to be.

Today has been a sad day for me

Today culminated in me sitting on the living room floor crying over my poor sick baby.

You've probably all heard me say lately (or maybe read it on facebook) that my Ilse is just grumpy. 

Poor kid, I've wronged her.  I've thought lately that she had just gotten grumpy all of a sudden, and then she went to having trouble sleeping at night, etc..  It occurred to me that she might have an ear infection.  Her head was often hot but her body wasn't, so I concluded that she didn't have a fever, and was just teething, especially since I could feel a tooth.

And then this morning at 5:09am I finally got so tired of many nights with no sleep that I picked her whining body up and went to put her in her room so I could get 45 more minutes (pretty much not more, but only).  I was so tired and out of my mind that I knew I wouldn't go get her for these 45 minutes even if she cried the whole time.  Poor baby!  She actually went to sleep, but based on the later events of today I feel like putting her in there was absolutely inexcusable.

Later today I noticed a pattern of her not wanting to swallow her tyenol when before she did with no problem.  So that made me go get a thermometer since in my disaster of a house I couldn't find hers. 

The poor child had a temperature of 102.3.  She was burning up!  I took her to the doctor and the poor thing has an ear infection.  No telling how long she's had it.  And she probably has thrush, too.

So the doctor prescribed her antibiotics and the thrush medicine... and I dealt with trying to find a syringe that would properly give her the medicine--  not an easy task, I assure you! 

So I finally managed to give her her medicine, and she threw it all up.  That's when I cried, because my poor baby is so sick that I feel like I'm holding a 13x9 straight from the oven on my lap with no hot pads, and she can't even keep down the medicine that is going to make her well.

I'm so, so sad for my sweet Ilse.  If she throws up her morning dose of the antibiotic also, I'm going to call the doctor and request we just do the shots that were her second choice of treatment.  They might not be ideal, but they might be the only way to get our baby better.

Pray for her, please.  She is sick, and that makes Mommy very, VERY unhappy.

This parenting flub ranks right up there with celebrating Joey's 4th bd on the wrong date and letting Bam-Bam's ear drum burst because he showed NO signs of having an ear infection.

Mommy?  Boozer!

AND>>>>>>  on top of all that, as if that weren't enough, my baby's stoma (g-button site) is all messed up with granuloma tissue.  That tissue growth has pushed the button into a funny position and it is leaking milk everywhere.  So, the poor child with a fever is at risk of not getting her fluids.... and what this boils down to is that I have to leave her on her back where she is uncomfortable and might choke if (when) she barfs.  We're going tomorrow to get a silver nitrate treatment, which burns off the granuloma tissue, and if that doesn't stop the leaking I'm going to insist on a new button.  Ilse HAS to be able to lay on her tummy.

This just hasn't been a very good day all around.

A father lays down the law to his kids, Leviticus style

This post absolutely cracked me up.  Read and enjoy.

The Daddy Game

This would be more appropriate for Father's Day, but I saw it today.  It's hilarious.

A Clarification

After talking to a dear friend who shall remain nameless, Tim and I have come to the conclusion that we need to clarify one point of my previous post on the difference between mean pointless hurt and hurt for a purpose.

The point I want to clarify is this:

We are NOT saying the following: God hurts us sometimes, therefore we should hurt our children.

Nope, not saying that. I don't care if you spank or not. I'm not and was not talking about that. :)

All we were saying about GOD was the following: It is inaccurate to say He never causes us pain.

We are not trying to be God's mouthpiece. We are saying that all people should just look at his WORD that he has already given us and be honest about His WHOLE character.

Secondly: it has been lovingly pointed out to me that sometimes the marshmallow I am really saying is hidden in 40 pounds of dog food. :) Lol.

The marshmallow of my post on the difference between pointless pain and vicious pain is this:

I don't want people out there to look at people who spank and call ALL of them abusers like Heather's parents. Sure, some parents who spank are abusers. But for that matter, some parents who DON'T spank are abusers.

That was the marshmallow-- what I was really trying to say.

I only have one other thing in general to say. Life isn't always warm and fluffy. Neither is my blog. I know people who put only happy things on their blog, and I also know people who put everything on their blog. I personally am trying to model my blog after my dear mother-in-law. She writes what she thinks. She tries to be kind, but she still says what she thinks needs to be said. I want to have a blog that I can send to that company at the end of the year-- that company that prints your blog into a nice book like a scrapbook. This blog is my record of life and who we are.

My Previous Post

I know my previous post was quite fiery.

If you recognize that I am not bashing any one person or group of people, but rather that I am disagreeing with a school of thought that lumps parents who spank in with parents who abuse (parents like Heather's), then my main point was understood.

However, if you think I shouldn't have said anything, please forgive me and overlook it.

A parent can't possibly do everything right. We sure don't. But we do love our children, and we seek to show them that constantly. I was telling Tim tonight that I want nothing more for my children than that they are successful in their Christian walk and that they are happy. I want that so deeply it hurts.

I also want people I love and whose opinions I value to understand why we parent the way we have chosen to, and also for those people to pray for us and not look down on us or gossip about us because we might do it differently than they do. I want this very deeply as well. I don't know why, but I really want people to think we do well. That is pride probably, but maybe it is also a desire for the approval of those who are wise. That surely is godly.

I'm sorry I can get offended so easily by something someone says. Usually I can blow it off and not mention it, or perhaps mention it in a very general way... but this was just over the top. It makes me cry to think that someone could look at our parenting (not that this person I was talking about even knows us) and say we are like Heather's parents. It hurts. It isn't true. But again, if you think I shouldn't have said anything, please porgiva me (as the boys say) and overlook it.

"The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." ~Lamentations 3:22-23

The difference

Three disclaimers before I begin: I hate dueling blog posts; however, since I don't know the person whose blog I read, I feel free to give my thoughts on the topic.

Also: this is a very pointed post. Feel free not to read it. Tim and I are not trying to cause conflict with anyone (because we love everyone) and we recognize that not everyone (and maybe no one) will agree with what we are saying.

Also: None of what I am saying means that one shouldn't be gracious and merciful to one's children. Spanking is not non-gracious as I will demonstrate below.

This person whose blog I read said that spanking makes a child believe that awful hurt/pain means love. This person didn't say that some children believe that. No, it is just an accepted thing among 'real' Christians that God doesn't want to hurt us and that we shouldn't hurt our children, because it makes them believe that hurt means love. It makes them believe that if someone loves you, they WILL hurt you.

Oh, that just made me a bit angry.... because I know it isn't true. You know why? I don't believe that, and I was spanked. My friends don't believe that, and they were spanked. My sisters don't believe that, and they were spanked. There is a difference between pain to bring a desired result (righteousness) and vicious mean pain that makes someone nauseated and makes them believe that if they are loved they WILL get hurt. It is so dangerous to say something and just assume that EVERYONE is the same. Yes, some kids react poorly to spanking and it damages them emotionally, ie., physically abused kids. I'm not talking about those kids!!! BUT MY KIDS DON'T. My friends' kids DON'T.

And the real reason this person's blog made me angry is because I remember a foster child we fostered for three days. Her name was Heather. We couldn't keep her because she was a danger to the other child in our home. I had an experience with Heather that tells me how a child reacts who truly perceives pain/hurt as love.

I was combing the lice out of her hair the day after we got her. We were on the porch. Let me tell you, this child was damaged. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen.

"If you love me, you will PULL my hair! Just pull it!"

She said that to me! Over and over. She would yank her head as hard as she could when I was combing so that it would hurt, then she would tell me, 'You hurt me!'

Heather's parents had obviously hurt her so much that she had come to believe that hurt, terrible hurt, meant love. She had to believe it, because no one wants to believe their parents don't love them. Her parents obviously didn't love her.

******BUT you can't take all the kids who are spanked and lump them in the same category as Heather..... she was a child who truly believed hurt meant love and love is only demonstrated by hurt. And I do not treat my kids the way her parents treated her. That is horrible and offensive to make parents who spank seem the same as abusive parents like Heather's!******

Oh so sad! And maybe this person whose blog I read believes that pain and hurt mean love, but let me tell you, most other people who are/have been spanked do not believe that, and it does not make them nauseated. Here's the other side of the issue, to be loved, one does not HAVE to be hurt, but sometimes, hurting someone IS LOVE. Pointless, vicious pain is not love, but sometimes, hurt is love.

I'm sorry, folks, but God does hurt us. When we sin and go off his path, he MIGHT hurt us. Take David. He had sex with Bathsheba, killed her husband, and lied. God killed the baby. God had David's wives slept with in front of the whole nation on the roof of his house. And the sword did not depart from David's house forever. Those are HURTS.

Take Eli's sons. Did God give them a non-painful consequence?!?!? No. They were KILLED. Take the sons of Korah. They rebelled against God and He had the earth open and swallow them. Take Ananias and Sapphira. They lied. And they both got KILLED.... and the Bible says that everyone feared. That's Acts 5:11.

Take Israel and the worship of the Golden Calf. The Lord 'smote' them.... whatever that means. It doesn't sound pain free.

Yes, God definitely punishes us sometimes in ways that HURT us--- physically hurt us. And it doesn't damage us and make us believe that hurt means love and love must be demonstrated by hurt. And no believer can say accurately that God does not love us because He hurts us.

I hope I've made myself clear. I don't think I'm going to read that blog anymore, because that person is a confused, hurting individual who is putting her feelings out there as truth.

I would like to say again, I completely disagree with (and God does too) the idea that spanking ABSOLUTELY WILL make my children hate God, have an evil heart but a good exterior, that it is always abuse, and that it will make my kids afraid of me. I'm not afraid of my parents. My husband isn't afraid of his parents. And my kids aren't afraid of ME. My kids are not Heather.

I'm sorry if I seem too direct in this post. I know it is very pointed. It has been Tim-approved, edited, and added to; and it is accurate, also, according to the Word of God. And we parent to please GOD. We agonize over our parenting. We pray over it. We constantly talk about it. We don't just spank because it's easy. Huh. It's NOT easy.

One other thing: I do not decide the discipline strategies in this home by myself. Tim and I discuss everything and we AGREE on everything we do. Both of us believe that spanking is godly and biblical. This isn't just me talking in this post. It's both of us.

Parenting Philosophies

Did it occur to anyone besides my husband that the reason mothers and fathers don't like their kids being called down by other adults is because it reflects badly on them instead of/ in addition to their kids?

Pretty insightful, I'd say. But then again, I love my husband and could be a little biased.

Things I Say, Apparently

It has come to my attention that I say some specific things very frequently.

Last night I was resting, and Tim was sitting with me as the boys played in their room. We heard Christopher proclaim, very loudly, "UNBELIEVABLE! Unbelievable! Unbelievable!"

Tim just looked at me, and I said, "Well, I guess I say that a lot!"

And then this morning Joseph announced to Christopher, "I a train!" Christopher responded, "Well, you can be a train if you want to."

As I was typing this, I forgot what my second example was but I got reminded of it when Christopher put his puppy on my head. "I don't want that on my head, sweetheart." "I have it on my head?" "You can have it on your head if you want to." :)

I think the reason I push the phrase 'if you want to' is because the boys tend to ask permission for everything. "I may eat now?" "I drink my milk?" "I may play with my car?" "I may go to the potty?" Et cetera..... and I am trying to get the boys to be a little more independent. I tell them that they won't have to ask to play with their own toys, and they certainly don't have to ask before they eat things on their own plate!

Parenting Philosophies

Now don't fuss at me. Don't be in the camp of people who say you have to have 'experience' before you know what's a good idea and what's not. That just simply isn't biblically true.

Now, all other disclaimers aside ;) .......

I have a few philosophies about parenting. And feel free to tell me if you think I'm wrong or right.

I think you should avoid situations where you KNOW your kid will fail to behave. For example, if your three year old can't handle large crowds because of some reason, whether it is something that happened in the past or just his emotional makeup, just don't make your kid hang out in crowds for a long period of time. I do not believe in setting up a child to fail.

'Do you teach them to handle it at the appropriate time?' one may ask. Of course you do. You can't allow your child to go through life handicapped because of an early experience. When is the appropriate time? When the child has been prepped enough and is ready to practice. When you can't avoid the large crowd. Or when you think the child is old enough to give it a go.

Here is a real life example of my philosophy. We planned to have a giant party for the boys' adoption. Since we had experience with Joey misbehaving excessively at even small family gatherings (not to be naughty, but because he couldn't handle it for some reason), we told him about the party WAY in advance of when would be appropriate for a normal child. I believe we told him about it about three months in advance. And we talked about it nearly every day. We printed out a picture of the bounce house we were ordering for the party and put it on the fridge. Joey looked at it regularly and anticipated the party for a long time. And you know what? He excelled at the party. He wasn't worried about all the people, and he loved his bounce house. He didn't even have a pee-pees accident.

We learned something about Christopher though. He was terrified of the bounce house. He'd looked forward to it for three months, and then he was too afraid to get in.

That leads me to my second philosophy.

I think you should make your child do things he is afraid of. Christopher will run to me in angst because Joey is being a puppy and barking at him or because Will is being a lion and chasing him.

At first I made the other child stop because everyone wasn't having fun. But that isn't fair, all the time. Christopher was just being a wimp. I started pushing him off of me when he was clinging to me in 'terror'. I told him, "Go growl at the puppy! Go chase the lion. Don't be a wimp!" And he is getting better about it.

Someone very kind gave the boys a tent at their adoption party, and they were both looking forward to Mommy setting it up and using it. But this morning when I went to set it up, Christopher insisted he was too scared to get in it. At first I told him that I wouldn't make him, because I was deluded regarding what true kindness was. Then as he continued talking about how he was too afraid, it occurred to me that this has to stop. So I told him he was going in. And he told me no. Twice. So after his spanking (I know, this part people don't agree with :)) I made him do it three times. And he loved it. Fear was keeping him from fun! He can't go through life like that.

I'm glad I didn't press the point of the bounce house at the party, but next time he has an opportunity to jump in one, I'm going to make him do it. It is good for his development. I don't want to raise a wimpy child just because I didn't help him face his fears. That would be horrible for him. Imagine a teenager who's afraid of a tent. Imagine the grief he'd get. I don't want that for my son. I'd rather put him through a very mild fearful experience so that he will conquer a silly fear when he's so young that later he doesn't even remember having it.

Those are the two philosophies I have today. I think they're logical and common sense. I want to raise MEN, not wimpy mommy's boys. I'm going to encourage and teach manly qualities, and I'm going to encourage them to follow their daddy around as much as possible. None of this sitting on the couch to watch mommy vacuum. (That's what Christopher wanted to do last night.) So I made him get up and carry recycling out to daddy. That is a much more manly job. Anyone can vacuum (IF they learn how to paint a floor... maybe a post on this soon) and I will teach my kid that at an appropriate time, but now is the perfect time to be a little helper to daddy.

:)

A Project

I am involved in a major undertaking today. A project so immense that it will change the way we live. And you know what? I'm not telling what it is until I'm done. Or, excuse me, finished. Mrs. Gillette used to say that if I say 'done' I sound like I'm a turkey being cooked in the oven and so now I'm 'done'. Although turkey is an appropriate topic considering Thanksgiving is next week, I personally do not want to be cooked in the oven no matter what delectable meat I am.

I say delectable because usually turkey (and most other meats) are fabulously delicious. Since being pregnant, though, I can't warm to meat. Nope... it's not the gross, bloody raw factor, or even the raw smell. It's the texture. The texture of chicken is nappy.

But as I was saying before I digressed into disgusting land, I am doing a project today. I am done-- argh, finished! with most of the prep, and I am about to go to the store to get what I need for the next step. Hopefully I'll be able to do a bit of that step before Tim gets home, and then we can do a bit more before the men's meeting, and finish up tomorrow night.

I'm very glad to be getting this done. And now that I've driven everyone crazy with these 'teasers', I'm going to go to the sto'. :)

The Day For Which We've Been Waiting

(Did anyone notice my correct grammar in the title? :) )

Saturday, November 20, is coming up fast. It is only 6 days away! Tim and I are unbelievably excited. To have the state out of our business, to have our own children in our house answerable only to us (and God of course, but I shouldn't have to make disclaimers), to know that so long as we follow the law no one but God can take them away from us... and the list goes on.

We can't wait to love these children until God takes them home, hopefully long after we die.

Joseph is currently learning how he has to obey. This is, apparently, a very hard concept. Honestly, I don't remember learning it. All I remember is knowing that a child is supposed to obey. I don't think Joey even thinks anyone can tell him what to do. He is generally compliant, but sometimes he gets in a mood where every single thing he does is wrong. And I can't tie it to anything. I can't say it's because we did anything differently, or because there is a weird situation someone involving him, or anything. Sometimes it's just out of the blue. He just wants to ignore Bam-Bam, or he just wants to take Bam-Bam's toy and not give it back. Or he just refuses to say he's sorry, or he won't stop being loud, or he won't keep his mouth off the shopping cart, or whatever it is. Today he did something (it was the first in a long line of infractions and I've forgotten what it was) and we sent him to time out on his bed. Well, instantaneously there was bawling. And bawling! And bawling! He wouldn't stop. Was he sad that he had disobeyed? No. He was involved in self-pity. Tim went in and talked to him because I just couldn't, and he explained to our baby Yoey and it is one thing to cry with a broken and contrite heart, and it is something entirely different to cry in self pity. It is entirely unacceptable. And you know what? He stopped his bawling and worked on his attitude.

This is going to be a long process. No one has ever taught these kids how to obey.

I remember the first or second day we had the boys, and Christopher just wouldn't do anything we said. NOTHING. I had never seen anything like it. So I took him into his room, and after he stopped screaming 'NO!', we had obedience practice. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Ad infititum ad nauseum, but he learned. And he has known what obey meant every since. Does he always do it? Ummm, no. Not even close. But at least he knows what it means.

We're still working on explaining to Joey the concept of he HAS to obey, and parental authority, and all that. Like I said, it will be a long process. And sometimes I get discouraged, because even though they seem to behave pretty well when people are watching, people don't see the horrendous things they do sometimes. Like the other day when I (ignorantly, apparently, but WHO could have known) left Bam-Bam on the potty to poop and he played in it. I had no idea a three year old would take it into his head to just dip his hands in and spread the water everywhere, but he did.... and now he won't ever again. I've left him there a couple times since, and he hasn't done it again.

On the whole, the boys are doing fabulously. Their speech, mobility, attitudes, understanding about life, and general outlook are amazing. We're so thankful for them, and we can't wait until the boys truly are Minichs.

TH words

Being the daughter of a woman who always spoke correctly (except for 'odiferous'), it is hard for me to hear the boys articulate sounds incorrectly. The sound that has bothered me the most is 'TH'. In case you haven't noticed, it's everywhere, at least in little kid speak.

What's that? Who's that? Come with me. Over there.

I am worn out with it. I decided a couple of days ago that I was going to make a very concerted effort to correct it every single time, and make the boys say it right before they could continue their sentence. I can do that because they are both capable of saying it, but they have been so lazy that they don't try to say it correctly.

So today, each of them is saying his 'TH' nearly perfectly. I still correct it, but Bam-Bam is to the point where he just needs a simple reminder. Joey still needs me to remind him to put his tongue between his teeth and blow.

I'm so proud of them and their progress. It's just one and a half weeks until court. What a blessed day that will be!

We did tell the boys about the baby. I think it has helped explain my odd behavior. Now they know why I am tired more often and why I eat mid morning or mid afternoon. I can't wait until we can introduce this little one to her/his phenomenal big brothers.

As for the name, I merely suggested Ilse (German for Elizabeth) to Tim many moons ago, and he poo-pooed it. But, I mentioned it again and asked him to think about it.... and viola! He now loves it. I've been asking him everyday, "What's the baby's name today?" And each day he has said Ilse, and then the other day he admitted that he had told everyone at work that that's the name. It made me happy that he likes it so much.

So, if (when?) this baby's a girl, she will be Ilse Joy Minich. Ilse is pronounced ILL-seh and means 'Consecrated to God'.

Grammar

It is now less than two weeks until court. We are uber excited.

Now to life:

I have been working with the boys on how to ask a question. And really, I agonized over it way more than I needed to. For as long as they could talk, which has been less than five months, they have been stating their questions in the negative.

"We not getting Daddy right now?"
"I not getting that?"

It got very annoying. But then I had a brain storm. Instead of correcting every time: "ARE we getting Daddy right now?" "AM I getting that pizza?" I just started saying, "How do you ask a question?"

AND IT WORKED! I am so excited. So just now, Bam-Bam says to me: "Stella not want to get in her chair?" I asked him, "How are you supposed to ask a question?" And my silly boy turned to Stella in all seriousness and said: "Will you get in your chair please?"

Upon Stella continuing to sit in the grass, Bam-Bam informed me: "Stella not want to talk right now."

So funny. I think he really expected her to answer him like he has to answer us-- "Yes, Mommy," and "Yes, Daddy."

Joseph's Mullings

We were trying to work on the catechism during bathtime tonight, and I had come to the question of "What is God?"

The answer is "God is a spirit; He doesn't have a body like men."

Then I heard Joey mulling it over under his breath. "No butt."

I say, "What?" And again Joey says, "I say, no butt."

What?!?

"God not have no butt like men."

Well, I couldn't argue with him on that one! His theology was spot on, considering the passage about Elijah taking on Baal's prophets.

Lessons for the Boys

One of the things we're trying to teach the boys is to obey immediately with a happy attitude as evidenced by a cheerful face. I don't know about you other parents, but I personally do not like to see a child who has a mad face while they do what their parents said. A happy heart will come out on the face, and I find that if we have the boys smile, their whole attitude changes.

Bam-Bam worked a long time this morning on saying "Yes, Mommy" with a smile instead of a frown.

Just as delayed obedience is no obedience, so is grudging obedience no obedience.

I hardly think it pleases the Lord when we serve with a hateful attitude or a frown on our face.

Neither does it make my heart glad when the boys grudgingly obey.