The hardest thing about being a mother to a four and five year old

The other day it occurred to me what the hardest thing about being a mother to a four and five year old is.  Brace yourselves, people.  It's not something fantastic like it being hard when my kids misbehave, or when they make the house a disaster, or when I'm worried because they are sick and hurting.

No.  The hardest thing is:

I have to talk.  Yep, that's it.  I know it might seem like a surprise, but I'm not a natural born talker.  Oh, I can hold my own if I must.  But it's hard, and (I admit it!) I agonize over being able to keep up the conversation every single time I'm put in that position.  What if I have nothing else to say?  Aren't people getting tired of hearing, "So, yeah, I don't know anything else."  Or, "Wow!"  :)  At least when I say the first thing I'm being honest.  I really don't know anything else that I can say!

So, the boys will be talking to me, and I do love their talking, but it makes me have to respond!  Responding to the "Mommy?" 20000 times a minute is so exhausting, not because I don't want to listen.  I do!  I just have nothing to say.

Once when Mom and I were heading to the doctor when I was a teenager, she mentioned that the car is always quiet when it was only I there.  (me there?  Not sure.  I think it's I, since it's a predicate nominative, right, Eunice?) 

I still like quiet, and even in the morning I just need Tim to not overwhelm me with conversation the first thing.  I can't stand it.  Just two minutes of quiet is what I desire.  One time I got into a huge argument with someone because there was too much information input and I shouted at them to just be quiet!  I seriously can't think when someone won't stop talking long enough for me to think about what they said, especially in an argument.

I don't believe this qualifies me as an introvert, since I love being around the kids/people and don't feel a need to be alone.  I just don't want to be required to talk.  Sounds awfully selfish when I put it that way, huh.  Yes, I'm seriously handicapped in this area.  Maybe I'll grow out of it, but I doubt it.  I guess I'll just have to work on it.